Duplicity

Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Ever since first learning of him many decades ago, I often wonder when that betrayal started? How far back in his following of Jesus did he decide that one day, he was going to betray him if something better came along?

Granted, he’s not the first person in the Bible to act in duplicity. The three wise men had told King Herod that they’d let him know if they find the child, but they clearly had ulterior motives, granted more positive. Or did they decide on their change of plans the moment they set eyes on baby Jesus?

But we don’t have to dig through the bible for acts of duplicity.

When we look at our everyday lives, there are many that act deceitful to others.

Someone as harmless as a people pleaser can be deceitful in their attempts to please everyone and not upset anyone. There’s a saying that you can’t please everyone, but if one has lived their entire life with no friends, but then makes friends later in life and doesn’t wish to lose those friendships, they will do anything to continue to please the other person.

The hard lesson comes when one realises that people are very different. What you say to one person can very well upset another, and it can be very hard to communicate in a neutral way that upsets nobody, so that people pleaser can fall into the habit of duplicity just to hang on to those friendships.

Then there are those partners who have affairs. We see it in movies and even on the news at times how someone has lived a secret life having 2 or more families in different parts of the world, with some being discovered by chance, and others not being found out until after their demise when others try to set their affairs in order only to discover their deep dark secret.

Sayings like “The skeleton in the closet” talks of duplicity where a person hides their past for whatever reason so that others will see only one side of them, and for many, this works until something happens where that “skeleton” is uncovered.

I’m not immune to duplicity. My private life reveals one side of me that I’m often very ashamed of, whilst my public persona shows off a completely different personality. I do have trusted friends that know my deepest secrets, but I also have those friends that only see the more public persona of me and yes, I often feel like I’m putting on an act to keep the two lives separate and, at times, it can be very exhausting.

One favourite saying I have that I think of often to remind me to keep my own deceptiveness to a minimum.
“Oh, what a web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”

The topic of deception is mentioned in the bible often. In fact, the 9th Commandment states “Thou shalt not bear false witness”, and yet many of us do this in one way or another in our everyday lives. Some out of survival, others for sanity and others because that’s perhaps all they’ve ever known.

There is another saying I also try to live by, and often wish others would too:
“A true friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.”

Perhaps if more people behaved like true friends, if cheating partners became honest, if employees weren’t paid to be professionally deceptive in their careers, there could be a lot less duplicity in today’s world.

Well, one can dream.

This story was inspired by the Word of the Day challenge: Duplicity